Sermon Reflections from Gentleness and Self Control | Dean Honette | November 30, 2025
As we concluded November and our series Walking By the Spirt, Pastor Dean had some solid advice and teaching for us. It was a good recap of all we’ve been studying as we seek to live by and with the Spirit of God in our lives. He began with a provocative statement “Not to Decide is to Decide”. We can see this axiom in our daily lives- not to follow our diet is to decide to add weight, not to exercise is to vote in favor of not being healthy, and not to apologize is to decide on stubborn self-will. We often try to downplay our non-decisions but they are there all the same even if not spoken. The same is true in our spiritual life. Not to have a daily quiet time is to avoid godly input for our day, not to invest time in Bible study is to avoid knowing God more clearly, and not to go to church is to stay isolated and not in fellowship with other believers. All our non-decisions lead to actual decisions where we are not in control anymore. Pastor Dean pointed out that spiritual non-decisions are decisions leading to backsliding and away from godly living. If we are not pursuing a life led by the Holy Spirit, we are moving away from God and letting our old nature continue to reign in our lives. He had another axiom that fits here, There is a gravity to sin and selfishness. Sin is a downward spin away from God.
Galatians 5:25 “ If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.” This means we need to pursue God daily, moment by moment, to keep up with the Holy Spirit. He is with us, indwelling us, seeking to guide and direct- BUT we need to listen and obey. Those fruits of the Spirit do not appear miraculously without our being willing to follow Him and be obedient. That is where self-will comes in to our lives. God wants the best for us, but we can’t be saved without asking for His help and repenting. God does not want a group of followers that are robots, He wants dynamic followers who choose to walk with Him.
Pastor Dean wanted us to see how the fruit of the spirit are organized in an up and out manner which would help us understand them more fully. Peace, Joy and Self-Control are generally focused inward. Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness and mainly focused toward others or characterized by our outward behavior. The last 2 are either way up or out flowing from us towards God or others, Love and Faithfulness. This helps one to see the purpose of the fruit and which way God intends it to be manifested in us.
The two fruits we have not discussed yet this month are gentleness and self-control. Gentleness is the power to submit to authority in a humble and godly way. It is not weakness but more being gentleness towards others in words and actions. In 2 Timothy 2:24-25 Paul counsels Timothy to present the gospel with gentleness for the best results. “And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth,” Peter similarly counsels us in 1 Peter 3:15 “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,” People are not won to Christ by beating them over the head or arguing, but with gentleness of spirit.
Self-Control is always a sticky one for me. Since it is inward in nature, it means looking at my behavior with a godly eye and asking the Holy Spirit to bring to my attention those things that I need to correct through His power. It is a matter of limiting my selfish desires and listening to the Spirit of Truth. Proverbs 25:28 describes a person without self-control- “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Being without self-control leaves you vulnerable and open to anything Satan can throw at you! Paul also wrote to in 2 Timothy 2:7 “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” God put within us a Spirit that does not lead to fear but power, love and self-control. God knows our nature and He did not leave us powerless, so we’d be at Satan’s mercy. No, He intended us to live with His power, in His love and have control over our body’s mind and actions.
So we are back to “Not to Decide is to Decide”. When it comes to walking by the Spirit, we need to make a conscious decision each day to follow Jesus. Making that decision will bring us in step with the Holy Spirt and open to His working within our lives!! Make the right decision to follow Jesus today!
Linda
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